Aiyah! So Kiasu!

I've been meaning to do a post on Kiasuism for a long time now, but a while ago when I was at a fashion sale (and not my Le Flea Boutique I hasten to add!)  my goodness it was a good reminder about how Kiasu people can be.

For anyone out there who who doesn't know what Kiasu is, it can be essentially defined as "fear of losing" and it's a common behaviour in this lovely land.

Anyway at this fashion sale was one lady who to me epitomised Kiasuism. She was first in line in the queue to get in and then raced in, barging past everyone with eagle eyes to make sure she got the best of what was available. Her thing was designer bags and in her Kiasu ways she had managed to already pick up 3 in the space of 5 minutes, clutching them closely to her chest wildly as if it was the end of the world and the bags were the only food  left to eat whereas I was just drifting around in a Saturday morning hazy mood.

Very soon after my arrival in Singapore I became aware of the Kiasu mentality and it's a great way to explain away a lot of things here.

Most of us probably face Kiasuism everyday whether it's the Kiasu auntie who elbows you out the way to make sure she is first in line in the juice queue in Chinatown (or wherever) or the person that always tries to barge past you on the MRT to get out the doors first - even though you are both getting out at the same stop.

Actually the latter is pretty familiar to me from the London underground, just the difference is that there if someone tries this on someone they either a) get some serious verbal abuse or b) get a big shove and I've seen this deteriorate into a full on fight in some instances. Another Kiasu sighting of filling up one's plate at a buffet also seems strangely familiar to me.

Yes even boorish driving habits and the lack of signalling on the roads is down to Kiasuism because quite frankly nobody wants anyone to get ahead of them on the roads either.

And if somethings being given out free, or exclusively or on a limited basis guess what - Kiasuism strikes with queues to be first, take what you can and run even though you may have absolutely no use for it, just like in this video...

And when you hear parents talking about how they put their kids on the wait list for the branded schools light years in advance, this too is thanks to....Kiasuism!

But it's not just about getting ahead, it's about getting the most out of something that you can and to really make sure you are getting every cents worth, or every freebie out there possible. This man shaking his car up and down whilst filling up at the gas station across the Straits in Malaysia (in Johor Bahru) trying to get as much bang for his buck when it comes to his petrol exemplifies this just beautifully! Perhaps he is afraid of losing out on an extra mile or two...

And I'm certain the whole getting ahead thing is why I always feel like the only idiot who steps to one side when it looks like my path will collide with another's when I'm walking somewhere. For the longest time I had no idea why this was and then I realised it was none other than - Kiasuism!

I've definitely been noticing sneaky signs that some of the Kiasu mentality is rubbing off on me - and when you're surrounded by it on a daily basis it's like that age old saying....if you can't beat em, join em!

How to not be a tourist in Singapore

If you have just recently moved to Sing, still trying to discover the real Sing, or are moving to Sing, then this post is for you. If not, then you can skip this.

If you fall into the any of the above, you may be wondering what life is really like here as an "expat", wondering how to cut through the crap, unearth stories and tips on how to ease into the local scene, and most importantly discover that there is more to life here beyond the obvious.

You may be wondering what the quirks of Singapore are and/or the reasons behind them, where the hidden gems are, how to make the most of your time in Singapore, how to integrate, and how to  embrace all of these things and very importantly the local culture.

If that is indeed the case, then take a moment to check out a recently launched website I'm now writing for called notatourist.sg where I along with a number of "expat" writers from a variety of backgrounds hope to share some cool finds and experiences with you.

Oh yes and that's me on my notatourist.sg photo shoot with amazing Singapore-based street photographer Danny Santos at local supermarket Sheng Siong behind the fish counter keeping it real with the fishmongers and fish juices sludging all over my feet.

If you'd like to follow my writing there you can check me out at Writer's Central here and check out what the other writers have to say too while you're at it.

Would the real SPG please stand up?

Now I know that probably many of you reading this will know exactly what an SPG is - a Sarong Party Girl (or as some on our island like to call them, a Singapore Party Girl).


Well I'm not writing this for you. I'm writing this for the clueless people I keep speaking to who seem to have no idea what an SPG is when I mention these ladies in conversation. Well come on now, you actually do know what an SPGs is, it's just that you haven't got up on your lingo yet.


According to Talkingcock.com the phrase SPG or Sarong Party Girl is a "A pejorative term describing local girls who will only go out with Caucasians. The stereotypical “SPG”, as she is usually abbreviated, is extremely tan, and skimpily-dressed."


Or another more visual way of understanding what exactly this SPG species is, is to check out the nation's favourite SPG, Barberella in this short video...

Ahhhh ring some bells now does it?


So where to find these SPGs? Well if you're living in Singapore, unless you've had your head stuck in a hole for well, forever you will know exactly where to find them, and it's usually somewhere where a boozed up Ang Moh (or Caucasian) guy is likely to be talking boring drunk drivel at them before grinding up against them on the dance floor somewhere around Clarke or Boat Quay. Yes if you wait a little longer their tiny dress will become even tinier before too long.


I'm constantly amazed by certain guys who back home who might just about be able to bag a dinner lady are suddenly irresistible to these so-called and quite frankly quite hot "SPGs" - seriously if you think about this in relation to the girls they would bed back home you understand my meaning.


Well with that being the case it's no wonder that  my single Caucasian female friends find it so damn hard to bag a guy when they have to contend with these hot Asian chicks who are happy to put these mainly average (or sometimes below average) guys up on a pedestal. 


OK but so who knows the origins of the SPG? And what's with all this Sarong business anyway?


According to Wikipedia the term "has its fairly innocuous roots  in the late 1940s -early 1950s when Singapore was still ruled by the British" damn it it's out fault again! "British forces socialised very much among themselves, according to their military ranks and status. However there were some instances when specific local guests were invited to social functions hosted by the British. The term 'Sarong Party' came into use to describe social functions which included local invited guests. The sarong is a wrap-around 'skirt' that is part of Malay formal dress popular among local men and women of the time." 


And then just use your imagination to connect the dots.


It is said that SPGs don't even care what the Ang Moh guys look like so long as they are "white". But that's pretty harsh. But is this really true?? Surely there has to be another side of the coin? Are SPGs really just mindless girls fighting tooth and nail to bag themselves an Ang Moh? Or could there actually be more legitimate reasons like they actually find Ang Moh guys funny, witty and rather attractive *GASP*?! 


Well let's hear from some ladies across the Straits in our neighbouring Malaysia to see what they have to say about the use of the SPG term...

So what's my prognosis on this? Well yes stereotypes exist for a reason, but then often we can be right or quite wrong in our judgement. From where I'm standing, purist SPGs definitely do exist but we are probably quick to categorise a whole raft of other innocent ladies who genuinely just fancy and connect better with a bit of Ang Moh guy and are quite selective and modest about the way they go about it. But how do we know which is which? Well, would the real SPG please stand up?

Hey you - speak good Singlish!

I have to admit that when I first moved to Singapore, I was a wee bit baffled by Singlish. But as time's gone by, I've learnt to appreciate it not only from a cultural perspective, but also a linguistic perspective. So I have started to get a little irritated when people poo poo Singlish.

The way I see it, it's an important part of Singapore's culture and and a special ingredient of the rich cultural melting pot this little red dot is,  something to be treasured - just like the fast fading Queen's English in Great Britain! Plus it's a damn good way of communicating things in a to-the- point fashion.

With that in mind, when I heard about the Speak Good Singlish Movement, my brain cells starting tingling especially when I read the following...


"We are tired of people confusing Singlish with broken English. We are tired of people pretending to speak Singlish by speaking bad Singlish. We are tired of people categorizing  Singlish speakers as uncouth and unintelligent."


I always feel that the number one route to living in harmony with others is understanding them, and for this to happen it means being educated and sensitive to the things that set us apart from one another.


With this in mind I thought I'd interview the nice folk at the Speak Good Singlish Movement to help those who don't "get" Singlish to get on the road to getting it. So let's here what they had to say...

What, in your view, is the importance of Singlish – in terms of history, culture, and linguistics?

Hello you, Ms De-mean-our! But mean what ha? Singlish’s importance cannot be easily dismissed. People who siow-siow (mess around) with it have kena whacked quite jialat (get trounced quite badly) by others before. It is because many Singaporeans have come to embrace Singlish as a national treasure. As this, it is also the only one being preserved directly by the people and not by the state. Singlish is a linguistic rojak (mix), a blend of various aspects from languages used locally such as English, Malay, Tamil, Mandarin, and the Chinese dialects. It is the natural product of forces in Singapore’s history: colonial rule, nation-building, bilingual policies, education policies, immigration policies, what have you. More importantly, it is a spontaneous witty response to them.

So I don't get it -  why would some locals want to mock Singlish?

Well, you know mockers lah: they are their own problem. If I may generalise, these come in two main outfits. The first includes a type of Anglophiles we call the kay angmos (fake Caucasians), locals who seem to forget that they are not White. So speaking English, especially with an angmo twang, is super-sought after by them. They think that it can make people look more zhai (cool) and atas (self-important) – never mind the content of what is being said. These yaya-papayas (snobs) have never left the Colonial Era! Either that or they want so hard to be part of the West that they resent being stuck in Singapore. So they take it out on the rest of us.

There is also another lot, the pragmatists; you can spot these the moment they explain why they dislike Singlish so much. Their own English competence may vary, but it does not stop them from whacking Singlish speakers for being irresponsible to themselves, their loved ones, and the nation. For them, if you speak Singlish, your English will automatically suffer, and your career will kena sai (be defiled). Which means that you will then have damned your family to a life of poverty and, in the long run, helped throw Singapore back to a fishing village. Speaking, for them, is not about connecting with those around you; it’s just another economic activity to be optimised. Poot them man!

What are some of the common misconceptions about Singlish?

Let me share just two with you, Ms Demeanour. Firstly, there is this crazy recurring idea that Singlish is guilty for the drop in written and spoken English in Singapore. Please lah OK! If English standards are down, isn’t it more logical to look to the schools? If English is taught well, people will know how to use proper English and can tell when they are speaking Singlish and when not. By knocking Singlish, you still won’t be improving anyone’s English what! And it is not even that the rules of Singlish and the rules of English are same-same. They are so different that blaming poor English on Singlish is as good as blaming it on, say, Malay!

Secondly, there are these jokers who come to Singlish with prejudices, thinking that its speakers are mostly Ah Bengs and Ah Sengs. Their argument is classic and goes like this: since Ah Bengs and Ah Sengs don’t usually speak good English but rather Singlish, Singlish must be the lingo of low-class, uneducated, and stupid folks. Problem is, a lot of successful, educated, and smart Singaporeans speak Singlish too – at home and at play, with their families, neighbours, and friends. And Ah Bengs these days also go to university and can code-switch and phak (play) golf! So where is the connection between Singlish and a lack of brains, status, or refinement ha? Siow (mad) lah!

What is your greatest annoyance in the Singlish debate?

Errr, not obvious by now meh? I am damn tulan (fed up) that there is even a Singlish debate.

What would a world where Singlish is widely accepted be like?

Well, that should be very cool, very tok kong (amazing)! Singlish is a damn singable, rappable language; it is catchy, casual, friendly, comic, concise, soothing, blah-blah, you know lah. Also, Singlish is full of layers that define generations and communities. So the Singlish spoken just a decade ago is slightly different from the Singlish spoken today and definitely in ten years’ time. It is always evolving and yet contains traces of the past and openings into other social and ethnic communities. If anything, Singlish has the structure for a world language, something that can be all-inclusive, always adapting and listening to speakers who want to move outside their own circles.

For those who don’t understand Singlish but would like to, what would be the best way to learn it? What other advice would you give?

For starters, please don’t hang out with the kay angmos. The Singlish you learn from them will only prove their point; worse, it will get you laughed out of kopitiams (coffeshops). If you want to learn monkey language, don’t wade around with pond ducks. Good logic, right? Get to know some nice homely Singaporeans who you can catch speaking Singlish when they’re not being professional. Go out with them to a kopitiam or food court, soak in the setting, and get them to teach you to order food in Singlish. Then ask to know more, and make yourself speak it as often as you can!

Remember that Singlish is not just something technical but a whole set of personal attitudes too. If you are a damn how lian (arrogant) and stuck-up person, chances are, you’ll probably not do Singlish very well. Forget everything that you’ve known about the rules of English: what you’re going to pick up is a whole new way of thinking in words that echoes the vocabularies and grammars of over half a dozen languages. Central to the rojak is the willingness of each of the languages to take a step back and allow itself to be tampered with and made fun of. Such openness is key to any cross-cultural meeting.

Finally, what are five words that you think are most representative of Singlish? Please explain their meanings and cultural importance.

Just five words? But I already used a lot so far liao leh! Besides, Singlish really doesn’t translate that well despite what some people may tell you. Let me illustrate this point with five forms of exclamation: “lah”, “leh”, “ha”, hor”, and “wor”. The chow (smelly) kay angmos always mix them up and attach them to the end of sentences lousily. But, for example, “Don’t be like that lah!” isn’t the same as “Don’t be like that leh!” or “Don’t be like that ha!”, let alone “Don’t be like that hor!” You can definitely not say “Don’t be like that wor!” See, “lah” is polite, “leh” is a little more personal and persistent, “ha” is cautionary with a tint of threat, and “hor” reminds – not the same wor! You get what I mean now? Just friend a real hard-core Singlish speaker OK!

With many thanks to the Speak Good Singlish Movement for taking part in this interview. To find out more or to support the movement, visit their Facebook page here. 

Images courtesy of the Speak Good Singlish Movement. 

Scam Alert! Excuse me miss...you have a lucky face.

Quite a while back I wrote about the Fake Monks who were rinsing people (mainly tourists) in my neighbourhood for donations - yeah you know the ones where you can see their t-shirt under their robe and talking on the mobile phone when they think you're not looking. If you missed it you can read the post here.

Well there is a new rouse in town.

Yesterday I was walking down by the river when I heard someone to the right of me say "Excuse me miss...you have a lucky face". Hmm I thought, am I really about to get lucky?

Probably not, but when I turned around and there stood a gentleman of Indian original, staring very intently at me.

Maybe it's my London street savvy kicking in but usually when someone says something weird like that, I start formulating my exit strategy rather than letting myself be drawn into them or amused. Yes I've had to deal with enough nutters in my time!

So I gave a little polite "why how very kind of you" laugh and kept walking along. And as I did I remembered that another Indian gentleman had come up and said exactly the same thing to me a year ago. I was starting to hear twilight zone music in my head and began to wonder was this something to do with...

a) a cult
b) a scam

Well someone who replied to my Tweet asking the very same question on Twitter had another option:

c) that our stars were aligned

Well I wish it was something as romantic as that, but sadly not.

Eager to unearth the truth I got straight on the Internet and guess what? Yup it's a scam.

So according to another blog - Snippets from Singapore - this is what would have probably have happened if I'd stuck around to find out what was next ...

"Excuse me ma'am, your face looks very lucky.   You are healthy and happy, can I see your forehead? You have three lines. One is happiness and yours says you are very happy.  One is health, and you are going to live a long life, die in your sleep peacefully between the ages of 87 and 95. The  middle line is wealth.  You think too much about your wealth.

He asked questions, did a little magic trick, tried to tell me my fortune. Then he told me he was a yogi from India who travels from country to country to talk about meditation and yoga.   He asked if I was poor, medium, or rich."

OK WARNING BELLS AT THIS POINT!!! Trying to decipher your giving capacity. Nice.

He had written P - 50, M - 100, R - 150 on his paper.  He told me since I am medium, I should pay him S$100 and he will tell me three ways I can improve my wealth.   I asked him if he was offering this as a service?  He said no, he is a yogi from India who travels from country to country and does not get paid for what he does.  I said, well, is this a service you are offering for me to pay for?  Nope.  So I said, I'll pay you S$4 because I enjoyed my time but that's it.  He was not very happy, but I was, and I walked away.  He told me I will have an unhappy heart because I would not give him more money." *

Fair play to you Snippets of Singapore. And nice try "yogi" pulling the guilt card out there at the end with the unhappy heart threat because we all know that money leads to happiness. Pah!

I'm sorry for all the true yogis out there whose reps are being trashed by these charlatans. Jeez some people we do anything to make a buck or two!

*Read the full blog post by Snippets of Singapore here.

Why Singapore rules OK compared to the UK

I just came back from a 3 week visit to the UK. I have to admit I didn't really expect much to have changed post riots although I did get a few strange "be safe comments".

The first few days were full of novelty and nostalgia. I didn't mind layering up and being cosy in the height of summer, the grey windy days with the wind and rain blowing in my face, the slight grumpiness of people.

But after exactly four days the novelty firmly wore off and the stark reality started to hit. I started wondering why everyone looked like they had faces like slapped arses. Was it really the pathetic excuse for a summer? Maybe it was the bad feeling lingering on from the riots or recent murders?  Perhaps the fact that people had been told they were heading for an age of austerity to last 10 years?

Whatever it was I was starting to miss Singapore already. Yes it was great to see family and friends but I felt like an alien in my own country, floating around like a ghost getting more and more disturbed and negative about the things I saw.  And I couldn't help constantly drawing comparisons between my two homes.

These were just some of the things knocking about in my head...

No.1: In the UK summer is not summer. In August try wearing a vest, long sleeved top and cardi, jeans and boots and you'll be just grand. The rain is drizzly and thrown in your face by the wind. It changes your whole posture as you brace against it. And once the novelty wears off it sucks. In it's place stands misery guts.

 

In Sing, we might not have any seasons but at least that means you know what you're getting. You know what to wear and know that at least when it rains it will be relatively fast and furious and still warm rather than a painful, drawn out affair with no end in sight. And more importantly that it won't be all too long before you see that fabulous mood enhancer - the sun - again. 

No.2 : When I was in the UK in the space of 10 minutes someone pretty much puked right in front of me in broad day light followed by someone pulling down their pants and taking a crap in the street in full view. At first I thought he was just another flasher to add to my list. But no he was taking a dump. Perhaps a produce of "Care in the Community" or just someone doing it for s@$%s and giggles. Pun intended.

In Sing, you will probably never leave a night at Zouk without someone puking up right in front of you, but at least by that time you are probably also pretty squiffy which lessens the pain of seeing the vomit almost land on your shoe.  I've only seen someone who looked like they already crapped themselves in Singapore, given away by their poo stained trousers. At least they had the decency to do the deed out of my sight.

No.3 : In the UK, a taxi to the airport cost me somewhere in the region of $80. It's a long drive from nearly everywhere - for me about an hour if you're lucky, and usually you get the most grumpy person ever taking you there. You feel like you shouldn't even be in their taxi and should probably just jump out then and there. Well it seems that sometimes you DON'T get what you pay for.

In Sing, joyously a taxi to the airport is a quick (yes I know it's much smaller here) and painless procedure which in peak hours will cost you around $20 from where I live. Generally the taxi drivers are jolly or mute. Occasionally mad but that makes for great entertainment. I've never felt like they are secretly wishing to stick voodoo dolls into me in any case.  

No.4:  There is nothing like the great British media. It seems to rule the country a lot more than the government does. I furiously devoured all the newspapers and supplements I could but after 3 weeks I realised it had made me totally neurotic about everything from fashion, diet, cancer, accidentally setting fire to things and starting a forest fire as a consequence, whether I was going to get stabbed at random and if I had enough erotic capital whatever the hell that is anyway. My head hurt.  A bit like this.

Sometimes I bless the fact that media in Singapore is controlled in the way that it is here. Life is less scary and you have less panic attacs as a result. The saying ignorance is bliss rings very true here.  And the truth is always out there should you wish to seek it - it's just not being rammed down your throat 24/7.

No. 5: Most people get on the plane to go on holiday. The Brits seem to get on a plane with the sole purpose of getting drunk and farting. You beastly people next to me on my leg out to Dubai know who you are. It's a flight not a zoo and being a night time flight most of us are trying to kip you know! I hope you had a really bad hangover when you landed. 

Well Singapore might be a sub-tropical island but thankfully most people here seem to be able to avoid the temptation to act like animals from the jungle when they get on a plane to go somewhere. Thank goodness for that!

No.6: I can't stand it when people moan on about not being able to understand Singlish. In the UK, I can't understand people for all the swear words coming out of their mouths. I know I'd much rather hearing here Lah, Wah, and What on the end of every sentence than F*£%, S*"% and C&£%.

Now just in case you weren't sure, and before you get your knickers in a twist, I hope you realise that this is all said with my tongue wedged firmly into my cheek. Right that's my rant over with then.

What lengths would you go to for a marriage proposal?

Now call me old fashioned but I think there's nothing like a home made wedding proposal - you whip the ring out in a beautiful setting somewhere or for something a bit more chi chi pop the ring inside the lucky girl's champagne glass (provided she doesn't choke on it!) - whatever it may be.

So when I read about how recently some guys in Sing were dropping anything up to $11,000 to enlist the help of WEDDING PLANNERS yes wedding planners to help them execute their proposal I was a) shocked b) amused c) horrified then d) pitiful pretty much in that order.

Come on guys didn't anyone tell you that you're supposed to use wedding planners for erm...weddings and that you should be able to deal with the proposal stage by yourself?

For that kind of fee apparently you can get a proposal dreamt up and orchestrated for you which could be a Marry Me ice sculpture which perhaps would look something like this...

 Hmmmm classy....not!

Or maybe you could pop the question during a helicopter ride. OK maybe that's a little better but still there's a part of me that can't help thinking it's all a bit bad taste.

Apparently these men are so time starved and pressurised by increasing expectations from girls that they just can't do it alone.

Jonathan Goh, the Country Director for Singapore at the Association of Bridal Consultants reportedly told the Straits Times that  "The men want something different and have no clue over how to make their proposal unique,' and 'Also, women... expect more. The 'let's buy an HDB flat' proposal doesn't cut it anymore.'

WTF?!!!

I love the last part of the equation, and would love to know if anyone has ever used the buying of an HDB flat as the basis for the proposal! How romantic.

As I see it, the fact that men need to call in the "experts" could really be because:

1. They are so afraid of failure or being met with a no that they will dream up something that the bride can't possibly say no to.

2. They are so uninspired by their bride to be that they can't think of an interesting way of proposing themselves.

3. Their partner is so demanding and displeased by the simple things in life that this is the start of things to come - watch of for bridezilla!

4. That they are so boring that they can't think of anything exciting themselves that things are going to be very very dull in the future.

Actually there are lots of other permutations but this is just the start!

If you were going to spend all that money, at least spend it on doing something genuinely creative like this flashmob proposal.



Now that in my book would be money well spent!







 

The East rises as the West falls

Yesterday was a surreal day. As the third day of rioting erupted in my hometown London, my current home Singapore was celebrating it's 46th birthday in full swing. As far apart as the two worlds seem, they suddenly seemed even more further apart.

I spent most of the day looking in disgust and anger at footage like this:



and this:



then later on scenes like this:



and this:



What a contrast.

On top of that, earlier on in the week, the United States lost it's AAA rating, and my sense that the Western world is on it's way down, while Asia is on the up could not have been any stronger.

But back to National Day. Personally as an Ang Moh coming from a country which seems to be falling into a social abyss, I think that whatever level of national pride it seems to be - no matter what is driving it - is demonstrated in Singapore is a blessing.

Having seen the many issues in my home country and travelled around and seen sometimes worse still, we can never take for granted that which we have. 

I come from a country where on it's national day - St George's day - nothing much happens apart from a lot of beer drinking. Is that really how people should show they are proud for the sacrifices that their elders made for them? Sacrifices like using their lives in the World Wars to keep harm at bay?

Something is seriously amiss there.

So after looking at heart-wrenching images of my hometown up in flames, having been torched by youths, ravished by people taking to the streets like animals in what is supposed to be a civil society, thieving, laughing and taking advantage of a situation with no real cause or purpose  apart from self gain and anarchy, the acts spreading like wildfire both locally and nationally,  I personally found it quite soothing to watch Singapore's National Day celebrations.

Look no country is perfect and every nation has it's own set of issues but when you've been around, and you pretty much see your own country toppling down at the hands of it's own people, you start seeing things in a very different way.

Patrolling cheating men in Singapore's red light district

What would you do if you thought your partner was cheating on you? Would you want to catch them in the act, or prefer to remain in denial?

So if you're a woman reading this, what would you do if you thought your partner was visiting prostitutes like these in the red light district?

Well a lady of my age who found out her boyfriend of six years was doing so, caught him red handed leaving a brothel.

I don't think most women would at best do much else apart from get rid of the idiot, and try to move on as best they could. But this lady went on to found Geylang Checker, the "whistle-blowing" website which monitors cheating men in Geylang (which for those of you who aren't living in Singapore is our red light district).

She and her team of volunteers patrol the streets of  Geylang collecting and posting up photographic evidence of the suspects, at the request of women who want to know whether their other halves are doing the dirty.

It's a pretty brave  - and potentially dangerous - effort in my book as the lady behind the mission has received numerous death threats. Perhaps these men rather than getting angry at her (sounds like a guilty conscious right?) should have a stab at being faithful instead?

Last month the founder issued a "50 comment challenge" where she stated she would shut the website down if it did not get 50 negative comments about Singaporean men's infidelity. It's very interesting reading the 'for' and 'against' comments on the site.

One person said "Please mind your own business, while your effort is to uncover "cheating" men; the process will cause the family to break down leaving the innocent kids and also the wife suffering. You think the guy that get caught in the pic will simply turn over a new life? What about those who visits KTV, and carry out such activities (ex-geylang)? You are simply diverting men to look else-where and go underground - ie there are other places to seek sex. And worse, these are not controlled ...."

That's a fair point on the fact that someone who wishes to cheat will simply find somewhere else to do it. But perhaps it's better to uncover a cheating man sooner rather than later, to start anew without them and rebuild a life, rather than at 60 when the kids are all grown up and it's much harder to do so. It's a tough call. I know many people who grew up with cheating fathers and it did not make for a happy environment to grow up in.


But on the flip side you have comments like "if the guy wants to fool around, then they must face the risk of getting caught. This website could also help prevent the transmission of undesirable diseases back to their faithful partner."

For sure - I know from my work as a volunteer with Action for AIDS Singapore there are a fair few cases of married men using prostitutes and picking up STDs or worse still HIV/AIDS and then passing them on to their wives who unbeknown to them about their husband's activities and due to their trust in them also have sex with them without a condom.

So anyway it turns out they won the "50 comments" challenge with 67 posts. Because of the sheer bravery of the lady and her team of volunteers behind this, I'm glad they did for their efforts whether people think what they're doing it right or wrong. With the increasing number of members of their forum - now standing at 97 - it looks like for those at least who need to seek advice and support will have a growing support network to turn to.

Singapore's secret society of Pick Up Artists

Don't ask me why but today I happened to be watching an interview with JT Tran, the Asian Playboy and the so claimed World's Greatest Asian Pick Up Artist. Now the whole pick up artist thing is not new to me having once had a flat mate who was one. Yes the book The Game which documents the practices of a secret society of pick up artists was practically his bible.

So anyway I got curious and wondered whether there are Pick Up Artists (PUAs) and devotees of The Game in Singapore. So far all the chat up lines I've experience in Singapore have been pretty pathetic (sorry guys) so I was doubtful.

But low and behold I found a Singapore section of MPUAForum.com (a site dedicated to advanced pick up artist tactics and techniques) and yes it made for interesting reading.

Anyway the guy that set up this Singapore sub sect - who goes by the name Ice (nice name bro) claims that he is getting into being a pick up artist because he is

1) Looking for true love (yeah right) and

2) Aiming for the 100 lays but that he can't  commit to any girl without achieving 100 lays. And he says he'll add another 20 on to that for good measure. 

Wow talk about life aspirations. NOT! 

So since Ice kicked things off by sharing his "sarges" (think this is basically the term for a PUA's hunting/flirting missions) it seems there are all sorts of aspiring PUA's out there who are busy arranging sarges, sharing details and pointers,  looking for wing men etc. according to what I dug up online.

It's kind of crazy because what a girl might take just to be a regular chat up line is pretty much a science which is played and analysed in the hands of a PUA.


So let's get inside the mind of a Singaporean PUA when trying to pick up a girl in a mall courtesy of Ice. Ice said...

"I was having my lunch at some kind of a higher-end coffee shop...I was sitting at a 4 seats table when all other 3 places were empty. HB8 (the girl) is done ordering and waits for her food, she takes a seat at my table, at the seat which is the furthest from me instantly, a train of IOIs (indicator of interest)start streaming from her she doesn't know what to do with her hands, she's looking for places to look while waiting, she plays on-off with her phone, she plays with her hair heavily, she scratches her face non-stop.

Honestly I'm quite used to it already but still, it's cool to see how they get nervous around me and start not being able to control themselves... This whole thing happens as I'm eating, concentrating on my plate like a starving caveman.
 
Even though I was aware of everything that was happening on the other side of the table
and even though I was digging her looks and wondering how her breast looks without the white bra she was wearing, It was only a few minutes after she sat down that I was actually starting to think about picking her up.

Then, her food came and she sat back. She took out a pack of tissues from her bag, took one for herself and put the pack on the other side of the table, near me, scratching her face and pulling a hand through her hair instantly after.

I should better chime up and say something or I'll be the lame guy who avoids talking to her and will not be able to open.

Ic3berG: Is this for me?

HB: (blushing to a colour of the curry sauce on her plate) sure you can use it

Ic3berG: oh, that's nice! thank you (taking a tissue and putting it next to me)

so do you usually like to eat here?

Hb: ya! i come here allot for lunch

Ic3berG: yeah, it's like you can divide your life into 2: before and after you tried the food here.
when people come to eat here they usually come back, I really like the food here.

HB: (laughing and smiling)

Ic3berG: so you are working nearby, you come here for your lunch break?

HB: no I'm actually a university student, I live nearby, how about you?

What basically follows is qualification. I was asking her question about her life, job etc.
and she was answering willingly and was trying to ask some questions about me as well.
all the time I was maintaining the frame by having an opinion about everything she says and by trying to to show her why she is cool when she DLV (display low value) herself.

YES, she was actually saying she is boring, not so smart and not interesting.

When I reflect on the conversation, it takes me back to my sticking point - I come off as too high value to her I should DLV myself a bit or DHV less, even though in that set I was not DHVing at all!

One more thing to mention, during the whole conversation she was too spooked to even touch her food, and I knew her comfort levels are just getting lower and lower.  After a few minutes, I decided I better cut off because she is going to associate me with these negative uncomfortable thoughts

Ic3berG: you are actually a really nice person, it would be cool to meet up again some time

HB

Ic3berG: Email?? that's lame I'm not taking your Email... (a smile to calibrate)

HB: ok so it's 9602...
 
Yes girl you just got PUAed. But guess there are quite a few girls unknowingly falling prey to sarging all over the island. Hell I even found a pick up artist Meet Up group with a date scheduled to go approach women together on Friday night at Vivo City.

But I think guys like Ice need to learn a thing or two from this Aussie guy. He has one of the PUA methods  - push/pull theory - down to a tee. Ladies recognise any of these moves?

Back to Sing now. So I guess the answer is yes, there are PUAs here, and seemingly this trend from the West is picking up here (pun intended). So ladies, here's my challenge to you - can you spot the PUAs? 

And guys I want to know - are there any aspiring or practising PUAs out there?


More importantly, will these PUAs ever satisfy their appetite? 


One thing's for sure, it's a whole other world...

Singapore's urban legends a.k.a ghost city

Don't ask me why but the other day I thought it would be interesting to look up some of Singapore's urban legends. Not surprisingly, there turned out to be a fair few - many of which involve ghosts.

Anyway it turns out that apparently Singapore is Asia's most haunted city . So I thought I'd share some of my favourites here which struck a chord with me for one reason or another, and wondered whether if you live in Singapore if you or maybe someone you know have encountered or believe in any of these...

1. Great World City shopping mall - the site of an old fairground where somebody was killed back in the 1960s and said to be the site of a former cemetery. Apparently some people will not even go there to shop because they fear it's haunted. Next time you need to control your retail fix you can just think about that.

2. The caves at Bukit Timah Hill - which were allegedly used as torture chambers during the Japanese occupation in World War II. Some say that during the Hungry Ghost Festival, when you walk near the caves you can hear the cries of the souls who were tortured here.

3. Changi beach - this has actually made it on to a top 10 most haunted places in the world list. The beach was a killing ground used by the Japanese during World War II where thousands were tortured and killed. People have allegedly reported being slapped by an unseen presence, hearing  crying and screaming, and seeing heads flying in mid air  and headless bodies walking on the beach.  That is a very scary thought.

4. Sentosa - yes the fun packed pleasure island was once the place for beheadings by the Japanese during World War II. Apparently the spot of the beheadings was somewhere near Universal Studios.  In fact the old name of Sentosa is Pular Blakang Mati which literally means dead from the behind! You can imagine a variety of situations how an island came to be named that! Thank goodness it's name today means peace and tranquility in Malay is all I can say.

The above is just the icing on a cake - if you want to read more on this you can check out the Singapore Paranormal Investigators website here.

It's certainly made me see these places in a different light...

The evils of aircon

Yes you heard right - the evils of aircon. Now everyone living in the sweat bucket that is Singapore (or any other sweat bucket for that matter) might think I've gone crazy even entertaining this thought. Yes here most of us think that aircon is our saviour and I thought the same for my first year here. When you are rushing around, getting your sweat on, there's nothing like getting hit with that first flush of aircon.

But recently I've been getting a bit suspicious of my aircon for some  health reasons which I won't go into. I started wondering...'Aircon, are you REALLY my friend, or foe?'

Singapore is sometimes known as the air-conditioned nation. Now aircon is definitely a friend of the economy because without it worker bees in the office would be falling asleep in the heat (like I used to back in London when it hit 30 degrees), and people probably wouldn't spend so much time in shopping malls where the aircon is free for whoever feels the need.

But what is happening beyond our need to feed our guilty addiction to aircon? And do you ever think about this when your temperature is being climate-controlled?

1. The thing with aircon is that it cools one area at the expense of heating up its surroundings. If you can afford it, you're happy as Larry. If not, you're worsening the problem for those who can't afford it - as well as the environment -  as you happily pass your heat problem down along the rich to poor highway. Now here's a scary thought - the use of air conditioning in China tripled in the past decade.

2.  Aircon is a breeding ground for all types of microorganisms, mold and lurgies - even if you clean it regularly it could be hiding somewhere deep down unnoticed in the vents and ducts. Then guess what? These little babies are flung into the air left to their own devices. Yes it ain't just you in the bedroom anymore -  you got company.

3. They rack up the electricity bills like there's no tomorrow. Aircon is a massive electricity guzzler and probably acounts for somewhere around at least around half of your energy bills.

So what to do? Well there's no school like the old school so where possible...

1) Ditch the aircon for the fan - after all there's no air like natural air and you'll soon get used to the warmer temperature. It's not so bad so long as there's breeze from the fan.

2) Go soft on the sunlight - when your home gets like a greenhouse, get some moody atmosphere going and close the curtains.